The Lennon/McCartney of dentistry: An American vampire in Juarez (Pt IV)

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There’s a place across the street from the Camino Real that advertises itself as “Dave’s: A Pawn Shop”.

In the window of Dave’s: A Pawn Shop, in a place of honor above the bins of cheap watches and expensive gold jewelry, is a curiosity inside a small wooden box: a forlorn little leathery thing, mummified by age, with two square rusted iron spikes driven through it to form a cross. The hand-lettered sign above it reads ‘EL CORAZON DE UN BEBE VAMPIRO‘: the heart of a baby vampire. I’d buy it in a — well, in a heartbeat — if Dave didn’t want $ 7500 for it. I don’t know what the going rate for mummified baby vampire hearts is, but it definitely seems like a seller’s market…

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“Do you know you’re bleeding?”: An American vampire in Juarez (Pt III)

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Oswaldo is twenty minutes early again, and I have to make him wait as I get my stuff together.

[Previously: Part Two]

We have to pick up the couple from Colorado, out near the airport, and we greet each other like veterans. Colorado wife tells Oswaldo she almost passed out walking over the bridge yesterday after her protracted dental work, and she wants to ride back with him, even though it means they’ll have to skip the express route for regular back-and-forth drivers and wait something like 45 minutes to get back across the border.

I tell them about the ominous procedure I’m having done today. My upper wisdom teeth are so badly impacted that their removal will require actual maxillofacial surgery — the specialist Rio Dental is bringing in will have to cut the teeth into pieces to extract them, as the bone of my skull has grown around them. If it’s anything like the last party my lower wisdom teeth threw in my mouth, it’ll leave me in pain and unable to eat solid foods for the better part of a month.

Colorado wife leans forward from the back seat of the van and pats me on the shoulder. “Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ?” she asks me.

I tell her no: I’m a solid atheist. She tells me she’ll pray for me anyway, and I thank her: even if I don’t believe in God, I appreciate the concern…

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