If you haven’t learned these lessons about being a great husband and living the good life from your beautiful bride, then something tells me you’re kinda slow. But don’t you worry about it, this Texas boys got ya. And girls, I imagine there’s a lesson or more in store for you to adore as well. But before we get started let me test your knowledge a little…
Do you know what a wedge is? If you’re a typical guy, then your encyclopedic mind probably imagined a 56º or 60º Cleveland or a Vokey, but this isn’t a golf lesson so get your mind off the course and back on the life lesson. “A wedge is any lame brain, idiotic thing you say or do that creates distance between you and your gorgeous bride or you and your ideal life.”
Here are a few examples to help you wrap your brain around this wedge: failing to take the trash out for the umpteenth time and leaving your dirty underwear and socks on the floor for her to pick up. Forgetting to pick up milk and then whining about it when you have to double back to get it. Talking when you should be listening.
Here are 12 priceless lessons for how to be the ideal husband:
1. Get your mind set
There are several very beneficial questions that, when fixed in the forefront of the mind, have the power to dramatically improve our choices and actions.
Is there any benefit to me or anyone else in making this decision? What is it I really want in this situation-relationship? Will this action move me closer to or further away from what I want?
“If you want to change your life, you must first change your mind.”
2. Practice love
You get what you give. When you practice loving your wife and others on purpose, you get love in return — and when you practice unconditional love, you get unconditional love in return. And if we’re being truthful, isn’t that what we all really want?
“He who chooses to love receives love in return.”
3. It’s your actions, not your intentions that count
Actions give words meaning. Your words don’t mean jack if they aren’t backed up with decisive action. Want super hero status with your wife, kids, others? Do what you say you’re going to do, and if you aren’t going to do it then politely say NO.” If pressed, say, “you realize that pressing me to say I’ll do this is only going to lead to further disappointment. Is that what you really want?”
“Stop saying you will and start celebrating you did.”
4. Smile on purpose
There are amazing benefits in choosing to smile on purpose. Did you know you can’t be unhappy or feel down when you’re smiling. Try it. Come on smile from earlobe to earlobe and watch that dark cloud that’s been hovering over you drift off into the distance.
“Smile! It adds years to your life and life to your years.”
5. Keep the rules to a minimum
There are very few things in life worth going to war over, but far too many relationships contain any number of undisclosed rules that, when violated, create wars or battles.
We have two rules in our home:
1) Practice love
2) When in doubt see lesson 1.
“Is it really that important to fight over the toilet paper roll and the toilet seat?”
6. Listening is always better than fixing
Wives, when they encounter difficulty, just want us to listen. The same is true for kids and friends. People don’t want us to fix them or their situations, what they really want more than anything in the world is for us to listen and love them — “warts and all.”
“We have two ears and one tongue, so that we may hear more and speak less.”
7. Ask great questions instead of giving answers
“Asking great questions proves to me that you’re listening,” said my wife. “Giving me answers, proves you don’t really care.”
“Great questions draw me in, answers push me away.” ~ said wives everywhere
8. If you don’t go after what you want, you will never get and enjoy it
What you want isn’t going to come get you, it’s waiting on you to come get it. What you want is inert. It has no ability to move towards you. No motivation to chase you down. It ain’t going to fall out of the sky.
“What you want, wants you, but you gotta go get it.”
9. Now is almost always better than later
The universe responds to now. Wives respond to now. Customers respond to now. Now is attractive. Now changes things.
“All you need is love, but a little chocolate now and then helps.” ~ Schulz
10. Run towards the storms and challenges
Don’t avoid the storms, challenges and difficulties. Look them in the eye. Ask them to dance. Then lead them across the dance floor, out the exit into the alley and shoot ’em dead. The quicker you get through the bad, the sooner things can get better.
“Problems aren’t stop signs, they’re signals to try another path or approach.”
11. If you don’t ask well, the answer will likely be no
It’s our responsibility to create the kind of life we desire, which means we have to get good at asking for what we want. In fact, every role we play includes the responsibility of asking for what we want. If you’re in sales, you have to ask for the business. If you’re a business owner, you have to ask your people to produce. If you’re uncertain, you have to ask for help.
“If you want sex, you gotta get good at asking, because if you don’t ask, you don’t get.”
12. The best advice you can give is encouragement
Encouragement is like fuel. When added to someone’s tank, it can mean the difference between them coming up short or finishing strong. Encouragement feels like a cool breeze on a hot summers day.
“The best advice you can give is encouragement.”
Bonus Lesson: If you don’t learn and act on new lessons, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting.
Well there you go! The lessons my wife has taught me about being the ideal husband and living the good life. You’re welcome!