A lot of restaurants will give you something for free on your birthday, and with the right approach so will a lot of bars. The thing is, your birthday only comes around once a year, so this video shares some social engineering maneuvers to ensure you have a very happy un-birthday.
This post is part of our Evil Week series at Lifehacker, where we look at the dark side of getting things done. Knowing evil means knowing how to beat it, so you can use your sinister powers for good. Want more? Check out our evil week tag page.
If you’re not interested in waiting for your birthday to come around, YouTube channel The Hacks Of Life shares some mildly evil tips on how to snag yourself some free grub and drinks. Showing up with a group and having them dress like it’s your birthday can score you a free meal or dessert at restaurants. So can walking into an establishment with a self-placed “kick me” sign that just so happens to mention your birthday as well. The real dastardly tip is making a sad call to the bartender at the bar you’re at, informing him that “your friends” couldn’t make it for your birthday, and enjoying a free drink.
You probably shouldn’t abuse these tips—if you decide to use them at all—and keep in mind that you’re basically lying to someone’s face. Then again, who hasn’t told the wait staff it’s their buddy’s birthday to embarrass them? You might be thinking that these tips are too evil, but you might also be thinking about grabbing a free breakfast at Deniel’s sometime soon.
President Obama asserts the right to due-process free executions, claims the power to engage in lawless surveillance, and just gave a State of the Union address promising unilateral executive action on a whole host of issues. So it was more than a bit strange to see him this week once again insist he has no power to curtail his own Drug War.
During a discussion with CNN’s Jake Tapper about his recent statements supporting marijuana legalization in Colorado and Washington, the president insisted that rescheduling marijuana under federal narcotics law “is a job for Congress.” In making such an assertion, he was deliberately dodging the issue by pretending that without new congressional action, his administration doesn’t have any authority to reschedule the drug.
This claim of powerlessness is the same one Obama made back in April 2012 during an interview about marijuana with Rolling Stone magazine. It is, of course, factually false. You don’t have to trust me on that evaluation – you can trust the president’s own Attorney General Eric Holder, who admitted that under the Controlled Substances Act, the Obama administration already has the power to reschedule marijuana (Update: Holder’s statement was later confirmed by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy). This isn’t some vague gray area in the law, either – it is explicit.
To be sure, rescheduling cannabis isn’t full-on legalization. But it would begin the process of federally authorizingmedicinal use of cannabis, and it would also be a major step toward general decriminalization. Such steps could also be coupled with other executive actions to, say, deprioritize prosecution of marijuana-related cases.
So here’s the question: if Obama (rightly) believes marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol and believes it is “important for (legalization) to go forward,” why is he refusing to turn his words into action? Perhaps he is yielding to pressure from law enforcement organizations and his own Drug Enforcement Agency. As the Boston Herald reports:
DEA chief Michele M. Leonhart slammed President Obama’s recent comments comparing smoking marijuana to drinking alcohol at an annual meeting of the nation’s sheriffs this week, according to two sheriffs who said her remarks drew a standing ovation…
Kern County, Calif., Sheriff Donny Youngblood, president of the Major Counties Sheriffs’ Association, the group that sponsored Leonhart’s talk Tuesday at its annual meeting in Washington, D.C., said Leonhart called out Obama for what Youngblood described as “irresponsible” comments that were a “big slap in the face” to cops who have lost their lives keeping drugs off the street.
“This is a woman who has spent 33 years of her life fighting drug abuse in the DEA, her entire life. To have the president of the United States publicly say marijuana was a bad habit like alcohol was appalling to everyone in that room,” Youngblood said…
“The last person we need saying this to kids is the president of the United States,” (Bristol County Sheriff) Hodgson said.
It is certainly appalling that the DEA is openly criticizing Obama for merely citing decades of medical and social science research that shows marijuana is far safer than alcohol. It is also quite rare for a president’s own appointee to publicly slam her boss.
But, then, the willingness of the DEA chief to slam her boss (and the previous willingness of federal prosecutors and law enforcement agencies to ignorethe sprit of drug-enforcementdirectives) probably reflects how much of a vested political and financialinterest the DEA and law enforcement agencies have in continuing of the drug war. During annual budget negotiations, these agencies need strong political support for the drug war in order to secure their huge appropriations. Without that political support – and with, say, a president indicting the war on marijuana – it becomes much harder to justify those appropriations.
In other words, ending the war on weed is perceived by drug warriors to be an existential threat to their budgets, their power, their relevance and their core mission. Thus, the drug warriors are lashing out and insisting he back off any drug policy reforms. Unfortunately, the president’s dissembling about his rescheduling power suggests he is acceding to their demands.
UPDATE: In a tweet, the spokesman for the Office of National Drug Control Policy confirms that President Obama lied when he told CNN’s Jake Tapper that the administration doesn’t have the power to reschedule marijuana under federal law.
David Sirota is a staff writer for PandoDaily, television commentator and nationally syndicated weekly newspaper columnist living in Denver, Colorado. He is the author of the books “Hostile Takeover,” “The Uprising” and “Back to Our Future” and has written for The New York Times Magazine, Harper’s, Wired, Vice, The Nation and Salon.com. He covers the intersection of politics, technology and popular culture.