Even your closest friend might say something that offends you. Whether you think it was unintentionally insensitive, or a bluntly phrased form of feedback, you should ask them to clarify what they really meant. Otherwise, if you leave the incident hanging in the air, you might grow to resent your friend.
Clarifying is simple, but isn’t exactly the most instinctive or easiest thing in the world to express, especially if you haven’t done it before or if a certain amount of time has passed since the incident. Author Laura Coe shares two phrases you can ask your friend to clarify what they meant:
- “I am sure you did not mean anything by this, but when you said _____, it hurt my feelings.”
- “When you said __ I took it to mean ___. Is that what you meant?”
Starting the conversation will be awkward and tough to endure, but if you were offended by something you should speak up rather than bury your feelings. It’ll be better for yourself, and for your relationships and friendships, in the long run.
How To Handle Resentment | Laura Coe
Image by Kat N.L.M.